Dear Cousin Tybalt,
I am lodging a formal complaint to you about your mommy and her behavior.
Everytime your mommy comes over here, which is pretty much EVERYDAY, she forces unwanted attentions on me.
Your mommy holds me and snorgles me and tickles my toesies and gives me lots of kisses on my handsome head.
I know that she probably can't help herself, because after all I am a handsome and studly mancat with penetrating golden eyes and large mancatly paws. However, enough is enough. If your mommy cannot control herself, I will be forced to seek a restraining order against her.
I do not want your mommy's cooties.
Thank you for your time,